Therapy.

A good friend of mine recently argued that those who analyze and criticize life, art, food, etc., are not merely subject to the objects and things they write about but are in turn creating on their own by writing.  This thought has struck a chord with me lately and I like to think that those (holla! all of my fellow bloggers and academians) who write about beautiful things are making their own beautiful thing by writing something thoughtful.  

And I especially like to think that even though my thoughts on Rob and Henry are few, that in some small way they have created a type of little moment that I can return to again and again.  For me, my moments and posts usually center around a thought or a feeling that I have been experiencing and thinking about for quite some time.  So let me introduce another little precious "moment" that I experience everyday.

Meet Riggins

I have mentioned him in passing in some of my posts but now I will more fully describe the wonder and joy of this special little pup.  This is Riggins.  He is a chihuahwerrien (chihuahua terrier mix).  And yes, in this picture he is wearing a Snuggie for dogs.  As you can see, Riggins is not only a charmer but he is also quite unique.  Like Riggins, the story of how he came into our lives is equally special and unique and it is worth retelling.  

Rob and I woke up on a dismal Wednesday morning.  We did not wake up to alarm clocks nor did we hustle around to get ready for work.  On the contrary, on that morning our apartment was eerily quiet.  Floral arrangements dotted our counter and our table was covered in cards, cookies and pictures.  The crib in our second bedroom was vacant and the ground was littered with boxes that had been hurriedly opened just a week before on a journey to the delivery room.  In our master bedroom we laid close together in bed, closing and opening our eyes as we woke up.  Our hands were clasped and we were each clutching a tiny baby blanket that still had the unmistakably sterile smell of the hospital.  It had been five days since Henry passed away and we were just beginning to grasp the loneliness that comes after saying goodbye to a child.    

Henry's service was imminent and was going to take place on that upcoming Saturday.  In between our tears of shock and grief, we talked about the service but for the first time, we talked about what would come after.  It was that morning that I realized that life would go on the following week.  That the world would continue to turn and people would live their lives even though ours had stopped.  Out of some crazy twist of fate, I quit my job the day before Henry was born not knowing that he would shortly make his arrival.  Looking back, it was actually necessary for me to not have to go into an office immediately after Henry's death but at the time the future looked horribly bleak since I had nowhere to go and nothing to do to cope with such a tragic loss.

Sensing my despair, Rob looked me in the eye and announced that he was taking me to get a dog.

I will never forget the tenderness in his face as he told me that he knew that my body had been preparing to care for a little person for the past nine months and that I needed to have someone (or something) around to love.  

Within the hour, we were out the door and on our way to the Humane Society.  If you have ever been to an animal shelter you will likely share my sentiments that the environment is jarring and unbelievably sad.  We went into the room where the small dogs were kenneled and we were barked at by desperate dogs at every angle.  The noise of the room and the condition of the dogs in their kennels made me so sad that I did not even focus on a particular dog.  But thankfully, Rob paid attention and he noticed a little brown dog that was lying down in his kennel and looking at the ground.  He was the only dog that was not barking and when we got his attention and he looked at us we noticed he had beautiful amber-colored eyes.  Within another hour we were walking out of the door with our first dog.

I could not possibly describe the love that we have for this mutt.  He is my shadow, Rob's wrestling partner, our walking buddy, a member of our singing group and is our comic relief.  Riggins was not only an invaluable companion during those first difficult months after Henry's passing but he has proved his worth and devotion again and again.  I am certain that we would have loved him if we would have gotten him at any other time but tragedy brought us together and love has cemented him into our family.   

It is no coincidence that out of all of the dogs that we could have brought home that day that we ended up with one that is so perfect for us.  In fact, in many ways, this little dog is our therapy.

PS - For those of you that were wondering, Riggins is named after Tim Riggins, the lovable philanderer and our favorite character, from the TV series "Friday Night Lights."  We had just started watching the first season before Henry's birth and continued watching after his passing.  If you have never watched the show I dare you to watch the first two episodes...you will not be able to stop.  And for those of you Dillon Panthers/Lions fans out there I have to say, "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!"