Rejoice.

It is already the middle of November, which means that our happy week has returned.  The festivities began last Thursday when we commemorated our sixth wedding anniversary and continue today as we celebrate Rob's birthday.  With these two important events so close together, each November I routinely find myself reflecting about the happenings of the past year; wondering if anything remarkable or particularly special happened that I can spend extra time thinking about.

I typically stop on our vacations first.  I think about where we went, what we saw and who we met.  What was the weather like?  Did we see any movies while we were gone?  And most important of all, what did we eat while we were there?  I like to relive the sights and smells of the areas we went to and almost flip through events in my mind to recreate the magic of a certain location or site.  We have long enjoyed and treasured the moments we spend together discovering new places, but since Henry's passing traveling has taken on new meaning for us. 

As wonderful as it is to be home and to be in a familiar place, I love the thrill of stepping off of a plane and realizing that, with very few exceptions, no one knows who I am.  No one knows where I have been, what I am involved with or what I have been through.  I am just another traveler.  A person that, like everyone else around me, is going from point A to get to point B.  At the baggage claim in the Atlanta airport I am a non-descript girl looking for a bag.  On a California highway we are just a normal couple listening to music and trying to get through traffic.  We are just waiting in line like everyone else.  For all everyone else knows, we have a living, breathing child at home with a babysitter and we are on a romantic vacation. And we are not grieving parents. 

The novelty of travel makes this sort of pretension possible and it would invariably wear off if we did not do it so sporadically.  I know that I would be heartbroken if I did not have a place where I could return to again and again where I could talk about Henry and have people ask after my health and state of mind.  And it is our supportive home base that makes this novelty possible.      

And a portion of our support group made this picture possible.  On Henry's birthday we received a book filled with certificates from our friends on the Corroon campaign.  These special documents told us that a specified number of trees had been planted in Henry's memory in two forests in northern California.  Apparently, someone from the campaign read my blog and knew that we referred to Henry as Sprout and they thought that it would be fitting to have trees planted in his memory so that his legacy could continue to grow.  We were greatly moved when we received these thoughtful gifts, especially when we realized that our Sprout made it possible for other little sprouts to be planted.  We decided then and there that we wanted to visit "Henry's trees" one day. 

Well "one day" came sooner than we expected.  Rob traveled to northern California for work in the middle of October and I had the opportunity to tag along.  We were just four hours away from the Shasta Trinity National Forest, one of Henry's forests, so we decided to make the journey.  The views alone made the drive worthwhile but it was amazing to know that Henry's trees were contributing to such a gigantic and beautiful forest.  It took some time to find the specific area set aside for memorial trees but once we did we were glad we found it.  It truly was a sacred experience to be surrounded by trees that we knew had been planted in memory of other people's loved ones.  Some of whom may have been like Henry. 

There were no markers to designate which trees were which, but we found a tiny evergreen sapling that we thought would surely be one his trees if ever any of them were his.    

Our trip to Henry's trees, along with some other trips that I will write about later, will always be fond memories of 2011.  But one can only focus on memories as fleeting as vacations or excursions for so long and when our anniversary and Rob's birthday arrive I inevitably spend most of my time thinking about the everyday.  I think about the moments that I spend watching Rob interact with his family and friends and hearing them laugh at his jokes and stories.  I think about the color and shape of his eyes and smile as he laughs with them, sharing in their joy.  I then think of how he goes out of his way to see a sick friend or family member to comfort and care for them.  And I recall the hours that I spend watching him answer emails, reconcile accounts or answering phone calls for his job.  Rob works as hard as he plays and is a good representative for his company.  And he puts the same amount of time and energy into the people and things that he cares about.  His thoughtfulness and insight make it impossible to not feel special in his love.  One truly is lucky to be loved by Rob because he gives much more than he gets or ever expects. 

Each year I feel more and more fortunate to be his companion, confidant and friend and I revel in celebrating our marriage.  There is no denying that we have weathered some storms in our six years together.  The past twenty-one months have especially tried and tested us unlike any that we could have ever dreamed of but together, we have created new dreams, and he continues to help me find reasons to rejoice.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart I hope that this year is a special one for you.

"There are places I'll remember

All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more"

In My Life